week 2 :: DAY one

136 (?) scale is a bit off....so i am not truly sure of my actual weight. total lost 4 lbs.

i will buying a new scale this week.i have lost according to the faulty scale, 4 lbs. but i am not going to count on that, just so that i will not let myself down if i didn't lose that much in a weeks time. the good news is that my pants feel looser, and clothes seem to fit a bit differently. i have a few concerns. i still feel a bit sluggish though. i was expecting to be bouncing off the roof tops at this point. i am seriously wondering if a) i have a deeper issue, ie, undiagnosed health problem...or b) simply still detoxing due to the vicodin, and meds from the past few years. dr. f's book does explain that for some people the detox process can take up to 2 weeks. i still have a head ache here and there and a bit of depression. also this morning i was hoping to feel up to walking, but i just felt very sluggish. that makes me wonder what is going on underlying. i have spurts of feeling really well..but it is not long lasting.

..i made it through a whole week of no sugar (except for the tiny amount in my creamer) and speaking of coffee, i have lost my desire and craving for it :) the last time i detoxed was in 2000 (?) or was it 99? anywhoo....been a long lonely time :( i still cannot believe that i am doing so well. my scale is off and this week it appears that i have only lost a little bit since saturday. for the most part my food has been alot of raw veggies and fruits, water and herbal detox teas only, (about a cup or so of am coffee, but like i said, i am losing my taste and desire for coffee) salads, soups and quinoa/beans. i carry with me my water, larabars and almonds that i mixed with raisins.

the weekend was a challenge, but i got thru it :)

friday afternoon, my first day out all week....i met rene in laguna at the zinc...and i was expecting to be able to eat more there...but was surprised to see how much cheese and dairy they had on the menu. i chose the vegetarian chili and regretted it. it was too heavy and i had only had a smoothie in me at that point (jp smoothie) and the night before i had taken a smooth move tea. it decided to kick in, not in the morning as i hoped, but early afternoon. so most of my day was running to public restrooms to 'cleanse'. ugh.

saturday we went to visit tanya and the kids at my dads (she is moving to co next weekend) and i did explain that i was doing a cleanse and only eating fruits/veggies etc. and thank goodness i chose to bring my own veggie platter. they went shopping only to get pastrami, bagels and cream cheese .... grrr. my dad wasnt even there...he was off doing some church stuff. (but i will write about that later when i vent about the emotional stuff going on with me). saturday night i had to run to the store to get milk for em, so i decided to run to the 'fresh and easy'...

struggling with 'what to cook', meals, recipes etc....but i am not allowing that to detour me. i am resolved at this point and counting down. only 5 more weeks to go and with all this great info in my head about why this way of eating is just so much better for me, i don't feel at 6 weeks i will want to stop.

:week one: DAY 4 : of six week cleanse

stats:
40 yrs old.
139 lbs
5'4"
size 8 (some 6's if they run a bit big)
eat to live - BEGAN - march 24, 2008


my journey back to total health.

WHY:
to lose appx 20 lbs.
to feel great in and out of my clothes...in front of my husband and at the beach.
better health as i age.
fight off illness
build up my strength

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so i am documenting this 'experiment' and utilizing dr. joel furhmans book and his 6 week cleanse. since monday i have elimated all sugar, dairy, and meat. i am in a state of 'detox' right now...day 4. but i am also struggling with a head cold/cough and a very heavy period.

when i stepped on the scale tuesday morning i weighed exactly 140. this morning (2 days later) the scale reads 138! whoohoo.

i am going to use this blog as a way to keep track of my emotions, and the way my body responds to this cleanse.

i am hoping to use this time, (the next 5 and half weeks) as a way to reconnect with God - as a manner of a 'fast' as well....spiritually there is so much i need to deal with. this past year turning 40 has brought to surface alot of hurts that i have burried and i had no idea how to deal with them. also, it has been a year of anger....i have felt so much anger towards my dad, mom, childhood hurts etc ... grandpas passing, and g-ma's ugly ways....ontop of inlaw issues....well alot of hurts have surfaced and i am emotionally drained.

so i hope to find some peace and renewed strength not just physically, but emotionally as well.

:discoveries:emotional

today i realized how much i have denied the truth to my emotional eating. although i do not have a large amount of weight to lose, i do have 20 extra pounds. .... and it has been since denying myself the comfort of food this week that emotions have come to surface....which leads me to believe that i did 'use' food as an emotional crutch. i love to eat...to cook, to break bread with others...i love it....but i want to use this time as a way to go inward and upward.....and not stuff any more.

i am not sure where this will all lead me...i just trust that God will help me get to the end and that when i get there, i will be healthier, leaner, and more in control of my life.

:discoveries:physical

my symptoms include a runny nose, head ache, body aches, weakness, irritability, depression, cough, cramps (period) lots of bathroom trips, some queezy-ness, sore muscles, exhaustion, and feeling cloudy headed.

::: UPDATE ::::: scary symptoms

around 30 minutes ago, just after eating my lentil and veg soup, my nose and eyes started to run severely...i am sneezing and feeling extremely 'not well' .... just more achy today and thus far today has been the worst of the week! my nose is running continually. i want to find a forum or some place to talk to others. rene thinks i am detoxing too quickly...so perhaps i am.

i thought i would be feeling better by now...but i am feeling worse. much worse.

7:12 pm update...

made some quinou and added it to the lentil veg soup...felt a little better, but hunger pangs soon after....head ache is getting worse. much worse. but the runny nose is clearing up a little. also more new symptoms, cold sweats and hot flashes. ugh.

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UPDATE:

i was able to finally be 'over' my flu by mid saturday. i struggled thru the afternoon with rene with aches and feeling tired...drove home and slept well that night....saturday we spent the afternoon at dad's seeing off my sister and the kids. there was only pastrami and bagels with cream cheese to eat, (even though i did explain to her that i was only eating fruits and vegg's etc) so i am so relieved i took my own veggie platter, and snacked all day on veggies. i also drank a blueberry (naked juice) smoothie most of the morning on the drive out.
that evening i had a little dinner of veggies around 8ish.