today i am having quite an emotional breakdown. i am frustrated with being a mother, i feel totally unappreciated and disrespected...of course by the boys especially. all of my 'external issues' are really plaguing me today and i am beyond emotional.
i am also very sore from my daily walking/bike ride from yesterday etc. i feel a bit depleted and the need for 'rest' and 'food'....something substantial to eat other than fruit all day. i feel bombarded today with life....i have had one thing after another happen it seems and i am really exhausted.
i feel selfish for feeling this way...but i also feel like i need to focus on 'me' a bit more. i have weeks where i never leave the house monday thru thursday - because of the kids....that gets to me! i need time away from the kids....
morning:
45 minute walk with jogger
big smoothie : 3 coconut ice cubes, 3 dates, 2 banana's, water, 3 jp fruits, water
handful of blackberries
pear
kiwi
cucumber, tomato salad
dinner was a whole avo and a whole egg with one egg white (hardboiled) over romaine and i sprinkled red onion over it all. it was very satisfying.
for dessert i had half of the tj's dark chcolate bar
david, the boys and i watched ai, and then 'talked' about the issues of them having better attitudes etc.
i was asleep by 11:30ish...which was not what i had hoped, i hope to be in bed by 10 from now on and am working towards rising by 6am, to do some yoga and stretching....
i am also very much over watching TV (with the exception of monday night the bachelor and some greys anatomy on thursdays) other than that, to be honest, i am feeling a need to 'detox' the outside world of all things 'negative' as much as possible. it is my goal to be in bed by 10 with my bible and david ...and some smooth move tea :)
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
day 2 of FRUIT FLUSH
I am doing good....yesterday i ate:
coconut, banana, date smoothie (water only) with jp fruits and flax
half of melon
another smoothie
dinner was great, salmon, romaine salad, cucumbers, carrot sticks, brocolli steamed, and grilled onions with saute'd mushrooms.
i ate til i could eat no more and was not hungry the rest of the night.
this morning i made the mistake by weighing myself. the scale shows that i am still at 135 at has not budged. i find that really confusing. however, this weekend, i did eat more than usual...pasta saturday night, breads, and boy am i feeling it this week. i am really bloated and feeling like i have to 'go' more than i am actually releasing.
hopefully this fruit flush will help me to lose enough to fit back into my pre-wedding clothes. that would be awesome. i can zip them all up, but my waist is still very thick and my belly has all the fat around it.
my belly fat has been the hardest to lose to thus far, this side of forty. i am not giving up. i am giving myself over to this way of eating 75% raw and fruits all day til dinner. i just feel better...i feel lighter, i feel happier. i know i may be losing slowly, but i will get there...it may take me a few more months...
i feel like this weekend, even tho i was eating 'good', i was not eating the way i usually do to 'lose'...so i am back on the wagon for the next 13 days....and flushing this all out.
coconut, banana, date smoothie (water only) with jp fruits and flax
half of melon
another smoothie
dinner was great, salmon, romaine salad, cucumbers, carrot sticks, brocolli steamed, and grilled onions with saute'd mushrooms.
i ate til i could eat no more and was not hungry the rest of the night.
this morning i made the mistake by weighing myself. the scale shows that i am still at 135 at has not budged. i find that really confusing. however, this weekend, i did eat more than usual...pasta saturday night, breads, and boy am i feeling it this week. i am really bloated and feeling like i have to 'go' more than i am actually releasing.
hopefully this fruit flush will help me to lose enough to fit back into my pre-wedding clothes. that would be awesome. i can zip them all up, but my waist is still very thick and my belly has all the fat around it.
my belly fat has been the hardest to lose to thus far, this side of forty. i am not giving up. i am giving myself over to this way of eating 75% raw and fruits all day til dinner. i just feel better...i feel lighter, i feel happier. i know i may be losing slowly, but i will get there...it may take me a few more months...
i feel like this weekend, even tho i was eating 'good', i was not eating the way i usually do to 'lose'...so i am back on the wagon for the next 13 days....and flushing this all out.
Monday, April 28, 2008
WEEK 6 GOAL COMPLETED - FIRST day of 14 DAY FRUIT FLUSH
today marks my last day, my '6th' week, of my 'eat to live' journey. wow. what an adventure of change i have had. i have saturated myself in learning about what my body needs....my own 'truth', what is working for me, and what isn't...
*my skin is soft and supple
*pounds lost/inches lost
*no more dandruff
*amazing energy when not on or after period
*sleep well
*no more indigestion
*more mellow and happy
*not sore after long bike rides or walks
and i have lost a bit of weight too :) i do not know how much weight i have lost total in the last 6 weeks. i got rid of my scale. but i have lost quite a bit being and i am *just about* there with my pre-wedding clothes. i am a bit bummed that i have not lost more. it seems like i am on the slow end, and my metabolism is sluggish, but i am losing and that is great. i weighed upper 120's when i married david....but my goal is just get the body fat off and see where i end up. i truly do not even know what my 'natural' body weight will end up at. but i do hope to be around a size 2 with no rolls any where.
i have learned that there are 2 ways to approaching food. the fearful way, or the healthy way. i feel safe with food now. i have found raw food to be my favorite way to eat...i feel *refreshed after eating raw, and have lost all cravings. i no longer depend on coffee to jolt me into life.
DISCOVERIES:
ENERGY DIPS WHEN ON PERIOD AND ABOUT 5 DAYS AFTER:
as for my energy levels, i am convinced that it is hormone related. my period seems to knock the wind out of my sails...not only during, but after. the aftermath of my periods leave me feeling depleted....so i am going to be diligent in making sure i have adequate iron and b vitamins going into my body every day and perhaps up the foods that give me energy and iron during my period. come friday afternoon, (last friday) i was feeling a bit better, tho that morning i awoke in a fog and was really not good til noonish, when i finally had the energy to start packing for our marriage retreat.
i have learned that i can eat an avocado's again :) i love them with all my heart...and but for the next 14 days i am now on a fruit flush. i am going to eat fruit all day, and a dinner of healthy greens, egg whites (boiled) or fish....:)
*eating out: eating raw and living in the real world takes alot of work and planning and it can be done...but for me, i will remain eating cooked foods probably 25% of my diet. david loves sushi and so do i, so when dining out on our sushi splurge, i am sticking to fish and 'white' rice (brown rice if they have it) only on those nights out to sushi, which we barely 2 times a month if that....at home i am stocking the cupboards with brown rice, seeds, whole grains, (which i am avoiding for the next 14 days)
*cooked peas soup and lentils seem to consipate me.
SMOOTHIE RECIPES:
banana, dates, fresh coconut blended with water. yum
coconut water with bananas yum.
*my skin is soft and supple
*pounds lost/inches lost
*no more dandruff
*amazing energy when not on or after period
*sleep well
*no more indigestion
*more mellow and happy
*not sore after long bike rides or walks
and i have lost a bit of weight too :) i do not know how much weight i have lost total in the last 6 weeks. i got rid of my scale. but i have lost quite a bit being and i am *just about* there with my pre-wedding clothes. i am a bit bummed that i have not lost more. it seems like i am on the slow end, and my metabolism is sluggish, but i am losing and that is great. i weighed upper 120's when i married david....but my goal is just get the body fat off and see where i end up. i truly do not even know what my 'natural' body weight will end up at. but i do hope to be around a size 2 with no rolls any where.
i have learned that there are 2 ways to approaching food. the fearful way, or the healthy way. i feel safe with food now. i have found raw food to be my favorite way to eat...i feel *refreshed after eating raw, and have lost all cravings. i no longer depend on coffee to jolt me into life.
DISCOVERIES:
ENERGY DIPS WHEN ON PERIOD AND ABOUT 5 DAYS AFTER:
as for my energy levels, i am convinced that it is hormone related. my period seems to knock the wind out of my sails...not only during, but after. the aftermath of my periods leave me feeling depleted....so i am going to be diligent in making sure i have adequate iron and b vitamins going into my body every day and perhaps up the foods that give me energy and iron during my period. come friday afternoon, (last friday) i was feeling a bit better, tho that morning i awoke in a fog and was really not good til noonish, when i finally had the energy to start packing for our marriage retreat.
i have learned that i can eat an avocado's again :) i love them with all my heart...and but for the next 14 days i am now on a fruit flush. i am going to eat fruit all day, and a dinner of healthy greens, egg whites (boiled) or fish....:)
*eating out: eating raw and living in the real world takes alot of work and planning and it can be done...but for me, i will remain eating cooked foods probably 25% of my diet. david loves sushi and so do i, so when dining out on our sushi splurge, i am sticking to fish and 'white' rice (brown rice if they have it) only on those nights out to sushi, which we barely 2 times a month if that....at home i am stocking the cupboards with brown rice, seeds, whole grains, (which i am avoiding for the next 14 days)
*cooked peas soup and lentils seem to consipate me.
SMOOTHIE RECIPES:
banana, dates, fresh coconut blended with water. yum
coconut water with bananas yum.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
DAY 32
very very low energy today. very low. very hungry day...i was hungry all day.
so monday i was 'depressed' and feeling low emotionally. tuesday was better but still low energy in fact i was in bed by 6:30pm.. wednesday felt the same...very tired by 6:30pm. last night i could barely manage to move after 7pm...but was up with david 'in bed' til around 11.
this morning i awoke groggy and feeling so tired. i want to work out and take my morning walks, but i feel really tired. exhausted. very much so. i am researching to see if my symptoms sound like a b12 deficiency, or low iron. ??? i don't think so...but today i am cloudy headed and very tired. simple things are overwhelming me.
i am tired of living this way. i just want to feel good and be a happy energetic mommy/wife again. i am wondering if i should put more meat into my diet. is this a protein thing? am i getting enough?
having chocolate cravings today....want to lay down and take a nap. it's 1:55pm and i am so ready for bed. also, i am very hungry today. i want to EAT...like heavy eating. fruits and salads do not sound appealing.
diet:
first thing this morning i took flora iron with a handful of grapes
fresh juice of beet greens, 3 apples, 1 lemon, romaine, 1 whole cucumber.
banana
5 almond stuffed dates
1/2 of a 1/2 of sprouted bagel
cup of veg/lentil soup (canned)
salad with hard boiled egg and one egg white, cucumber, 1/2 avo and toms
greens and black smoothie with almond milk, stevia, half banana
so monday i was 'depressed' and feeling low emotionally. tuesday was better but still low energy in fact i was in bed by 6:30pm.. wednesday felt the same...very tired by 6:30pm. last night i could barely manage to move after 7pm...but was up with david 'in bed' til around 11.
this morning i awoke groggy and feeling so tired. i want to work out and take my morning walks, but i feel really tired. exhausted. very much so. i am researching to see if my symptoms sound like a b12 deficiency, or low iron. ??? i don't think so...but today i am cloudy headed and very tired. simple things are overwhelming me.
i am tired of living this way. i just want to feel good and be a happy energetic mommy/wife again. i am wondering if i should put more meat into my diet. is this a protein thing? am i getting enough?
having chocolate cravings today....want to lay down and take a nap. it's 1:55pm and i am so ready for bed. also, i am very hungry today. i want to EAT...like heavy eating. fruits and salads do not sound appealing.
diet:
first thing this morning i took flora iron with a handful of grapes
fresh juice of beet greens, 3 apples, 1 lemon, romaine, 1 whole cucumber.
banana
5 almond stuffed dates
1/2 of a 1/2 of sprouted bagel
cup of veg/lentil soup (canned)
salad with hard boiled egg and one egg white, cucumber, 1/2 avo and toms
greens and black smoothie with almond milk, stevia, half banana
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
DAY 31
today:
water
smoothie: jp, fruits, 1 T ground flax , 8 oz of almond milk (unsweetened), froz. organic strawberries, half banana, 1pkt stevia
2 apples with T of honey
T raisins
watermelon 1/2 small
sprouted tortilla with black beans and half an avo
bowl of butternut squash soup with about 4th of avo stirred in
half glass of G&B smoothie with nut butter and dates, stevia
some of my recent emotional connections and realizations have come at 5 and a half weeks raw.
i summarized: (kids are napping and time is short)
whole foods (good for you foods) are nourishing me. i am in a healthy place now. i no longer need 'my old comfort foods' to give me that temporary fleeting comfort/happiness.
whole foods are 'life giving' to me. they fill me up. they nourish me. being mommy made me forget about my needs, and i came last. so i would fill up on the left over's, or the crusts. but now, i realize that taking the time i need to nourish my body with a chopped veggie salad, or a wholesome soup is 'filling me up'. so 'good foods' have become my friends.
physiologically:
tea room experience: my body craved wholesome foods after that meal of white bread, tea with sugar and scones. i barely ate 2 bites of the cream cheese laden cucumber white bread sandwich before i felt nauseated and my head began killing me. the ride home was torture until i pulled into ecco (my health food store :)) and was able to give my body the veggie rolls with brown rice....as soon as i got good healthy food into my system, the low blood sugar, shakes and head ache, sluggishness went away within minutes.
social eating;
mainstream eating was also a way for me to feel 'loved and accepted'. if i ate what was placed on my plate as a young girl, it made me feel loved, accepted, and 'good'. if i did not finish all of my food, it was a 'bad' thing. by the time i began my eating disorder (starving myself) in high school, i was told to 'eat' 'stand on the scale' eat'..
everything about food for me has had strong negative or positive emotions. going raw has helped me to find my truth....myself. my voice. this is what is right for me. this is SAFE and this is what i need to feel filled up and whole. i no longer care what others will 'think' of me. i am letting go of their expectations of me. i cannot apologize that my being healthy and eating 75% raw makes them feel inferior. i no longer downplay who i am in order to make others feel better. it's their deal to sort thru. i release other's opinions of me.
******************************************************************************
you know that you have reached the other side when you can sit side by side with the others, and they eat their thing, you eat your thing, and you are at peace within yourself. it will be then and there that you have found your own truth.
my prescription for rene;
above all else; commit to 6 weeks.
believe in your self to be safe. and for the duration of the 6 weeks, saturate yourself as much as possible with books, websites, blogs, authors, people, who are do not allow fears to detour you.
be selfish and self centered when you need to be.
learn to say, 'touch my nut butter and i will kick your ass'.
commit to 6 weeks.
tell yourself this is not a 'temporary change'
water
smoothie: jp, fruits, 1 T ground flax , 8 oz of almond milk (unsweetened), froz. organic strawberries, half banana, 1pkt stevia
2 apples with T of honey
T raisins
watermelon 1/2 small
sprouted tortilla with black beans and half an avo
bowl of butternut squash soup with about 4th of avo stirred in
half glass of G&B smoothie with nut butter and dates, stevia
some of my recent emotional connections and realizations have come at 5 and a half weeks raw.
i summarized: (kids are napping and time is short)
whole foods (good for you foods) are nourishing me. i am in a healthy place now. i no longer need 'my old comfort foods' to give me that temporary fleeting comfort/happiness.
whole foods are 'life giving' to me. they fill me up. they nourish me. being mommy made me forget about my needs, and i came last. so i would fill up on the left over's, or the crusts. but now, i realize that taking the time i need to nourish my body with a chopped veggie salad, or a wholesome soup is 'filling me up'. so 'good foods' have become my friends.
physiologically:
tea room experience: my body craved wholesome foods after that meal of white bread, tea with sugar and scones. i barely ate 2 bites of the cream cheese laden cucumber white bread sandwich before i felt nauseated and my head began killing me. the ride home was torture until i pulled into ecco (my health food store :)) and was able to give my body the veggie rolls with brown rice....as soon as i got good healthy food into my system, the low blood sugar, shakes and head ache, sluggishness went away within minutes.
social eating;
mainstream eating was also a way for me to feel 'loved and accepted'. if i ate what was placed on my plate as a young girl, it made me feel loved, accepted, and 'good'. if i did not finish all of my food, it was a 'bad' thing. by the time i began my eating disorder (starving myself) in high school, i was told to 'eat' 'stand on the scale' eat'..
everything about food for me has had strong negative or positive emotions. going raw has helped me to find my truth....myself. my voice. this is what is right for me. this is SAFE and this is what i need to feel filled up and whole. i no longer care what others will 'think' of me. i am letting go of their expectations of me. i cannot apologize that my being healthy and eating 75% raw makes them feel inferior. i no longer downplay who i am in order to make others feel better. it's their deal to sort thru. i release other's opinions of me.
******************************************************************************
you know that you have reached the other side when you can sit side by side with the others, and they eat their thing, you eat your thing, and you are at peace within yourself. it will be then and there that you have found your own truth.
my prescription for rene;
above all else; commit to 6 weeks.
believe in your self to be safe. and for the duration of the 6 weeks, saturate yourself as much as possible with books, websites, blogs, authors, people, who are do not allow fears to detour you.
be selfish and self centered when you need to be.
learn to say, 'touch my nut butter and i will kick your ass'.
commit to 6 weeks.
tell yourself this is not a 'temporary change'
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
DAY 30
my plan of action/goal will be to follow natalias eating level 1, green smoothies every day/every other- and or smoothies daily...and follow all day with only raw :) i know i am up to this now since the last 30 days have been a great starting point for me. i am going to try to keep to a raw 'low fat' diet...but i am going to incorporate iron rich greens (beet greens and dandelion greens to my daily juicing :) :)
i cannot wait til my 41st bday after a whole month of total raw.
for exercise i will try to do about 20 minutes daily of cardio, walking or the elliptical, with light weights and LOTS of sit ups/yoga ...
. :)
am green tea - echinacea (yogi)
COOKED-egg white (one yolk) scramble with red bell peppers/brocolli
later, a bowl of berries
water
chopped veg salad
b&g smoothie, 5 dates, stevia, ice, flaxground
COOKED-pea soup
larabar
1/4 dark chocolate bar
i honestly cannot believe it has been 30 days. i have been caffiene free, sugar free, white flour free, processed and refined free, meat free, and dairy free for the equivalent of a month. and i am not ready to go back to 'mainstream' eating. when i break down the pro's and the cons to this new lifestyle for myself....i would have to say that i am realizing prior to my period- the week of and the end seems to be hard for me.
right now i have somehow managed to get a pinched nerve along the left side of my neck. it is resonating all up and down my left side. leaving me pretty exhausted and with a headache. last night i layed down in bed around 7ish after david got home because i was pretty wiped out yesterday.
i am guessing that my period and the fact that the few days of the heaviest flow i did not have an appetite and i ate too little, compounded by the fact that i ate tea room food and almost had a sugar melt down after ward.
these are all reminders to me about how sensitive my body is to sugar/caffiene (earl grey) ontop of heavy periods without eating all that much.
i am going to up my iron (flora) and iron rich foods like i said i would 4 weeks ago after my last period left me feeling drained like this one did.
i cannot wait til my 41st bday after a whole month of total raw.
for exercise i will try to do about 20 minutes daily of cardio, walking or the elliptical, with light weights and LOTS of sit ups/yoga ...
. :)
am green tea - echinacea (yogi)
COOKED-egg white (one yolk) scramble with red bell peppers/brocolli
later, a bowl of berries
water
chopped veg salad
b&g smoothie, 5 dates, stevia, ice, flaxground
COOKED-pea soup
larabar
1/4 dark chocolate bar
i honestly cannot believe it has been 30 days. i have been caffiene free, sugar free, white flour free, processed and refined free, meat free, and dairy free for the equivalent of a month. and i am not ready to go back to 'mainstream' eating. when i break down the pro's and the cons to this new lifestyle for myself....i would have to say that i am realizing prior to my period- the week of and the end seems to be hard for me.
right now i have somehow managed to get a pinched nerve along the left side of my neck. it is resonating all up and down my left side. leaving me pretty exhausted and with a headache. last night i layed down in bed around 7ish after david got home because i was pretty wiped out yesterday.
i am guessing that my period and the fact that the few days of the heaviest flow i did not have an appetite and i ate too little, compounded by the fact that i ate tea room food and almost had a sugar melt down after ward.
these are all reminders to me about how sensitive my body is to sugar/caffiene (earl grey) ontop of heavy periods without eating all that much.
i am going to up my iron (flora) and iron rich foods like i said i would 4 weeks ago after my last period left me feeling drained like this one did.
Monday, April 21, 2008
DAY 29
wow. haven't been able to write in so long. and my time has been very limited...the time i have online has been spent researching and reading as much as i possibly can.
here is a summary of the last 9 days:
DIET:
mostly jp smoothies in the morning/fruit til lunch
lunch is salads, or nibble on veggies - new fav is tomato, cucumber and half an avo drizzled with lemon juice and some sea salt.
dinner is salads and some cooked soups.
lara bars/almonds/raisins for snacks
*my period came during week 4. it was light the first 2 days...but then hit really very heavy the 3rd and 4th day...trailing off to medium by the end of the 4th day. i NEVER had the usual back ache or cramps. it was still very heavy though and had an unusual 2 days very light, 2 days pow! heavy and 2 days trailing off.... i did have some tiny cravings, but nothing like before
EMOTIONS:
things right now are pretty stressful and my body feels it (davids family/rk/david's paramedic school may not be going thru for us etc). i feel as tho my body has been experiencing an unusual amount of sensitivity to stress. i am not sure if this is still part of the 'detox' process or not...but i am feeling almost a sense of panic again now and then. i am ultra sensitive and feeling as tho my emotions are very raw and on the surface of me. perhaps this all ties into the 'eating to stuff' my emotions - and no i am 'dealing' with them....suddenly. my drug of choice to self medicate (comfort foods) has been taken away and i am left dealing with my real and raw emotions.
WEIGHTLOSS:
i was feeling as tho the scale was holding me back so i got rid of it. i gage my weightloss now by my 'jeans'. i lost a bit of weight finally in my belly area and it feels really great. i am looking forward to seeing what the month of may holds for me in this area...because i feel it is finally becoming noticeable. i am hopeful that by my 41st bday i will be that size 4 or less that i so want to be. i am just about there...fitting into pre-wedding jeans /pants. my body has changed since 3 pregnancy's in 2 yrs. my middle and my hips and that ugh belly flab that just hangs there is the cause of the jeans not fitting. it's all in my middle now. but the good news is that i am losing!!! so i am just giving this thing time and enjoying the process.
EXERCISE:
since i have been on my P i have not really been working out like i was last week. but when i did work out, i had this tremendous amount of energy :) we took a 3 hour bike ride (with the girls, i had emma on th back) and it was mostly uphill (sat and sunday) the odd thing - i had this strength in my legs that i have never had before. also, after both bike rides i was NOT sore the following day !
****
sometimes i have this amazing sense of wellbeing. overall my mind feels clearer and i get so much more accomplished. however, the last 3 days i have not felt all that great and i do believe it is because i have noticed a decline in my appetite. friday i did not eat all that much and that was followed by saturday the 19th, TEA ROOM food with coleen. omg! the morning was crazy and i did not feel hungry, so i did not eat....rushed to the tea room by 2:30 and ate a spinache salad there....but when the white bread tea sands came, i almost threw up! i just could not eat that! ugh. i did eat a bite and began to feel whoozy. also the earl grey and the caffiene started to get to me. i did however eat the scone with some raspberry preserves and regretted it.
i drove home feeling a low blood sugar attack that i have not felt in weeks. i had to pull off at ecco (my new fav health food store in claremont) just to get myself some 'raw' food :) i ate the brown rice veggie sushi rolls and instantly felt so much better :)
i was amazed at this experience. i am a bit bummed to think that my system is that sensitive now and i wonder how i will get thru life when i must eat out at places that do not serve healthier options. :( i think i will pose this question on the raw food forum....
here is a summary of the last 9 days:
DIET:
mostly jp smoothies in the morning/fruit til lunch
lunch is salads, or nibble on veggies - new fav is tomato, cucumber and half an avo drizzled with lemon juice and some sea salt.
dinner is salads and some cooked soups.
lara bars/almonds/raisins for snacks
*my period came during week 4. it was light the first 2 days...but then hit really very heavy the 3rd and 4th day...trailing off to medium by the end of the 4th day. i NEVER had the usual back ache or cramps. it was still very heavy though and had an unusual 2 days very light, 2 days pow! heavy and 2 days trailing off.... i did have some tiny cravings, but nothing like before
EMOTIONS:
things right now are pretty stressful and my body feels it (davids family/rk/david's paramedic school may not be going thru for us etc). i feel as tho my body has been experiencing an unusual amount of sensitivity to stress. i am not sure if this is still part of the 'detox' process or not...but i am feeling almost a sense of panic again now and then. i am ultra sensitive and feeling as tho my emotions are very raw and on the surface of me. perhaps this all ties into the 'eating to stuff' my emotions - and no i am 'dealing' with them....suddenly. my drug of choice to self medicate (comfort foods) has been taken away and i am left dealing with my real and raw emotions.
WEIGHTLOSS:
i was feeling as tho the scale was holding me back so i got rid of it. i gage my weightloss now by my 'jeans'. i lost a bit of weight finally in my belly area and it feels really great. i am looking forward to seeing what the month of may holds for me in this area...because i feel it is finally becoming noticeable. i am hopeful that by my 41st bday i will be that size 4 or less that i so want to be. i am just about there...fitting into pre-wedding jeans /pants. my body has changed since 3 pregnancy's in 2 yrs. my middle and my hips and that ugh belly flab that just hangs there is the cause of the jeans not fitting. it's all in my middle now. but the good news is that i am losing!!! so i am just giving this thing time and enjoying the process.
EXERCISE:
since i have been on my P i have not really been working out like i was last week. but when i did work out, i had this tremendous amount of energy :) we took a 3 hour bike ride (with the girls, i had emma on th back) and it was mostly uphill (sat and sunday) the odd thing - i had this strength in my legs that i have never had before. also, after both bike rides i was NOT sore the following day !
****
sometimes i have this amazing sense of wellbeing. overall my mind feels clearer and i get so much more accomplished. however, the last 3 days i have not felt all that great and i do believe it is because i have noticed a decline in my appetite. friday i did not eat all that much and that was followed by saturday the 19th, TEA ROOM food with coleen. omg! the morning was crazy and i did not feel hungry, so i did not eat....rushed to the tea room by 2:30 and ate a spinache salad there....but when the white bread tea sands came, i almost threw up! i just could not eat that! ugh. i did eat a bite and began to feel whoozy. also the earl grey and the caffiene started to get to me. i did however eat the scone with some raspberry preserves and regretted it.
i drove home feeling a low blood sugar attack that i have not felt in weeks. i had to pull off at ecco (my new fav health food store in claremont) just to get myself some 'raw' food :) i ate the brown rice veggie sushi rolls and instantly felt so much better :)
i was amazed at this experience. i am a bit bummed to think that my system is that sensitive now and i wonder how i will get thru life when i must eat out at places that do not serve healthier options. :( i think i will pose this question on the raw food forum....
Friday, April 11, 2008
DAY 19 - weight still up to 134-5
ugh.
today i melted down. woke up with minimal energy (when am i going to feel the 'vitality' they all talk about?) and the girls were melting down too. the morning has been aweful. i made the mistake of stepping on the scale and it is still up 134-5ish.
david called and i just freaked out...i emotionally collapsed. i am ready to pull every hair out of my head. this radical change is killing me on emotional levels, energy levels..i am in the kitchen all day long - ontop of taking care of everyone else, making their meals, there i am constantly juicing or chopping or cleaning.
i am so angry right now. i feel that if the scale were going down AND i had more energy and less emotional freak outs, i could look at my progress as purposeful...as getting me some where. but now, here i am thinking i am going to have to see a traditional doctor (insurance reasons because i cannot afford an alternative nutritionist) and have some work done up because i am fearing that i may have a what i feared all along, a thyroid issue or something worse.
why in the hell am i not losing weight? i am soooooooo frustrated and so angry and so OVER THIS! eating 'gerbil food' and skipping the chocolates and the things that make me 'happy' and bring me comfort. going out of my way to be 'good' and eat only what E2L says i should! GOD FORBID i have a few avo's or lara bars or coconuts! sheesh, wasn't the freeking gerbil food minus the calories to 'splurge' on something good for me? i mean, i had only a smidgen of avo and a teeny bit of coconut!
the scale should read down in the 120's, even 129 would make me estatic! i have been working my ass off doing all the right things. i just want to lose 15 lbs! it should not be this freeking hard.
and one freeking question. day 15 i was 131. how in the world does someone gain 4 lbs in 2 days?
you know what... i am sick of the scale dictating my moods. i am tempted to just throw it away. i am beyond myelf with it. i feel as though i should not weigh myself, but instead measure my progress and see inches coming off and measure by my skinny jeans.
exercise:
20 minutes elliptical
with interval squats, while lifting dumbells -upper body
FOOD LOG:
breakfast:
double smoothi (jp) water, 2 tsp ground flaxseed, jp fruits, frozen banana
(out for the day) - took a bag of 2 apples, sm-bag of carrots, almonds, water.
snack:
munched on carrots -
munched on apples -
lunch:
got fresh juice of greens and beets 12 oz from podges
had one small raw 'pizza' from 'eco' claremont health food store
lara bar
snack: apple
dinner:
Roasted veggies over romain: 1 tbl olive oil, fresh lemon and sea salt, drizzled over asparagus, maui onions, zucchini, shallots, mushrooms at (400 for 20 minutes) over romaine with 2 tbl light dressing
tomato cucumber and avo (1/2 avo) salad with sea salt and lemon
dessert: 2 70% dark chocolate squares
today i melted down. woke up with minimal energy (when am i going to feel the 'vitality' they all talk about?) and the girls were melting down too. the morning has been aweful. i made the mistake of stepping on the scale and it is still up 134-5ish.
david called and i just freaked out...i emotionally collapsed. i am ready to pull every hair out of my head. this radical change is killing me on emotional levels, energy levels..i am in the kitchen all day long - ontop of taking care of everyone else, making their meals, there i am constantly juicing or chopping or cleaning.
i am so angry right now. i feel that if the scale were going down AND i had more energy and less emotional freak outs, i could look at my progress as purposeful...as getting me some where. but now, here i am thinking i am going to have to see a traditional doctor (insurance reasons because i cannot afford an alternative nutritionist) and have some work done up because i am fearing that i may have a what i feared all along, a thyroid issue or something worse.
why in the hell am i not losing weight? i am soooooooo frustrated and so angry and so OVER THIS! eating 'gerbil food' and skipping the chocolates and the things that make me 'happy' and bring me comfort. going out of my way to be 'good' and eat only what E2L says i should! GOD FORBID i have a few avo's or lara bars or coconuts! sheesh, wasn't the freeking gerbil food minus the calories to 'splurge' on something good for me? i mean, i had only a smidgen of avo and a teeny bit of coconut!
the scale should read down in the 120's, even 129 would make me estatic! i have been working my ass off doing all the right things. i just want to lose 15 lbs! it should not be this freeking hard.
and one freeking question. day 15 i was 131. how in the world does someone gain 4 lbs in 2 days?
you know what... i am sick of the scale dictating my moods. i am tempted to just throw it away. i am beyond myelf with it. i feel as though i should not weigh myself, but instead measure my progress and see inches coming off and measure by my skinny jeans.
exercise:
20 minutes elliptical
with interval squats, while lifting dumbells -upper body
FOOD LOG:
breakfast:
double smoothi (jp) water, 2 tsp ground flaxseed, jp fruits, frozen banana
(out for the day) - took a bag of 2 apples, sm-bag of carrots, almonds, water.
snack:
munched on carrots -
munched on apples -
lunch:
got fresh juice of greens and beets 12 oz from podges
had one small raw 'pizza' from 'eco' claremont health food store
lara bar
snack: apple
dinner:
Roasted veggies over romain: 1 tbl olive oil, fresh lemon and sea salt, drizzled over asparagus, maui onions, zucchini, shallots, mushrooms at (400 for 20 minutes) over romaine with 2 tbl light dressing
tomato cucumber and avo (1/2 avo) salad with sea salt and lemon
dessert: 2 70% dark chocolate squares
Thursday, April 10, 2008
DAY 18 -----GAINED WEIGHT????
emotional today....physically feeling ok.
so here we are....last night i stepped on my rickety old dial scale and it said i was up to 136!!!
this morning, after my walk with the stroller and murph, i showered and stepped on the scale again naked, (last night i was naked too) and it read 134. any way, i am not sure if i am pms'ing and retaining water or what. i did have some sea salt last night with my soup.
but here is my theory: the first 2 weeks i was strict E2L. then i found avo's, lara bars and coconuts, agave nectar, and i am wondering how in the world i ate enough to get a 3 to 5 lb gain? in 2 freeking days?
Last night i had another irrational emotional breakdown. i was overwhelmed and tired yesterday, feeling hungry...very very hungry. and today i am very very frustrated that i am apparently 'over eating enough to gain weight' and yet, feeling faint (both today and yesterday on my walks - ears popping sensation) not 'low energy' just weak in the am til i have my smoothie.
i am committed to keep myself away from the fatter stuff. even tho they are 'good calories and good fats' i am going to focus on just going raw all the way (pavlina's blog is helping) and staying the course.
i am upping my work outs too. morning walks and a 20 minute elliptical later in the day. 2 adays are good way to work off my extra weight.
i found this quote interesting and profound on pavlina's blog and i want to keep it within reach to remind myself of my 'real' feelings towards my food desires:
"When I first looked at the breakfast potatoes that Erin, Kyle, and Emily were eating, they looked pretty good to me. But after I assembled my giant fruit collection, I forgot all about the foods I wasn’t eating. I also began to notice that my attraction to the potatoes felt more like an addiction than a real need to eat them. The fresh fruit appealed to me in an entirely different way. With the potatoes I felt like I wanted to have them in my mouth, to enjoy the salty-oily taste and smooth texture. But with the fresh fruit, I felt like I wanted to put those foods into my body, to feel their life-giving energy inside me. The part of me that desired the potatoes was different than the part of me that desired the fruit".
for my goal of weightloss, i am going to be steering clear of agave, and using avo's only once a week. stevia will replace my need for sweetener.
FOOD LOG:
water 16 oz
jp smoothie DBL- water, banana, flaxseed 2 tsp, ice, jp fruits (2) echinacea capsules (2) stevia
water
split pea (my homeade) w/ one slice of ezekial bread toasted
chopped veggie salad with lowfat honey mustard
cucumber calif. rolls (no soy sauce)
sumi salad (about 1/2 cup)
2pc's of 65% cacao (hershey's)
EXERCISE LOG:
morning walk up euclid with jogger and murph (appx 40 minutes)
17 minutes on ellipt (level 1 and 2)
*i am beginning to feel that a 'label' is not what i am after. i do not want to get caught up in 'i am a 'this or i am a that'. i love the approach that natalia rose takes to life and eating, 'i eat what i what, when i want it'.
i think i am just getting so impatient with my extra weight and with my bday coming up...that i have been feeling a bit frustrated because of this 'drastic change' in my diet. i think i am anticipating my body to just 'kick it in' quicker than it is.
so, ok, this week i had a set back. and i have been feeling very hungry as well. i wish i had someone to bounce all of this off of. but i don't...and i am frustrated in my struggle to find what works for me. was my initial weightloss just water and normal for a 2 week first time out? i really was hoping to lose more weight. i am realizing after all my research of other bloggers who keep tabs and record like i am, that we each have to find our own groove. i have also learned quite surprisingly that many vegans AND raw foodists actually gain weight over time.
it is looking as if, dr joel f is right. the most simplified, unrefined foods are the ones to keep weight down and lose. is my scale off? or did i gain? did those few little bites here and there really overcompensate for the noshing on fruits and veggies all day? i mean c'mon!!! one avo only has appx 300 cals, and i have been only having half, and that was maybe just 3 days this week...IF that!
larabars worked great when i was on the road and needed something, as well as my almonds. and here's another downside...this way of eating can not only get boring but it disturbs me on a deep level that i have to make 2 dinners, one for the family and one for me.
can i survive on this way for the rest of my life? or the next 3 weeks? i feel as though i should keep going and add a 7th week, due to this set back. i was sure i would be in the upper 120 range by now. but no. i gained and am back to where i started. crazy and really makes me sick.
i am so stuck. i am stuck in the 130's and i hate it. my stomach fat is aweful and i have so much fat on my butt and thighs. i can see a small difference in my upper arms and my ankles...and i can almost get my skinny pants to button...but it is too tight and too uncomfortable.
i want something drastic. i want to just get this fat off once and for all. i am NOT at peace with it anymore. and deeply disturbed that i am gaining weight.
so here we are....last night i stepped on my rickety old dial scale and it said i was up to 136!!!
this morning, after my walk with the stroller and murph, i showered and stepped on the scale again naked, (last night i was naked too) and it read 134. any way, i am not sure if i am pms'ing and retaining water or what. i did have some sea salt last night with my soup.
but here is my theory: the first 2 weeks i was strict E2L. then i found avo's, lara bars and coconuts, agave nectar, and i am wondering how in the world i ate enough to get a 3 to 5 lb gain? in 2 freeking days?
Last night i had another irrational emotional breakdown. i was overwhelmed and tired yesterday, feeling hungry...very very hungry. and today i am very very frustrated that i am apparently 'over eating enough to gain weight' and yet, feeling faint (both today and yesterday on my walks - ears popping sensation) not 'low energy' just weak in the am til i have my smoothie.
i am committed to keep myself away from the fatter stuff. even tho they are 'good calories and good fats' i am going to focus on just going raw all the way (pavlina's blog is helping) and staying the course.
i am upping my work outs too. morning walks and a 20 minute elliptical later in the day. 2 adays are good way to work off my extra weight.
i found this quote interesting and profound on pavlina's blog and i want to keep it within reach to remind myself of my 'real' feelings towards my food desires:
"When I first looked at the breakfast potatoes that Erin, Kyle, and Emily were eating, they looked pretty good to me. But after I assembled my giant fruit collection, I forgot all about the foods I wasn’t eating. I also began to notice that my attraction to the potatoes felt more like an addiction than a real need to eat them. The fresh fruit appealed to me in an entirely different way. With the potatoes I felt like I wanted to have them in my mouth, to enjoy the salty-oily taste and smooth texture. But with the fresh fruit, I felt like I wanted to put those foods into my body, to feel their life-giving energy inside me. The part of me that desired the potatoes was different than the part of me that desired the fruit".
for my goal of weightloss, i am going to be steering clear of agave, and using avo's only once a week. stevia will replace my need for sweetener.
FOOD LOG:
water 16 oz
jp smoothie DBL- water, banana, flaxseed 2 tsp, ice, jp fruits (2) echinacea capsules (2) stevia
water
split pea (my homeade) w/ one slice of ezekial bread toasted
chopped veggie salad with lowfat honey mustard
cucumber calif. rolls (no soy sauce)
sumi salad (about 1/2 cup)
2pc's of 65% cacao (hershey's)
EXERCISE LOG:
morning walk up euclid with jogger and murph (appx 40 minutes)
17 minutes on ellipt (level 1 and 2)
*i am beginning to feel that a 'label' is not what i am after. i do not want to get caught up in 'i am a 'this or i am a that'. i love the approach that natalia rose takes to life and eating, 'i eat what i what, when i want it'.
i think i am just getting so impatient with my extra weight and with my bday coming up...that i have been feeling a bit frustrated because of this 'drastic change' in my diet. i think i am anticipating my body to just 'kick it in' quicker than it is.
so, ok, this week i had a set back. and i have been feeling very hungry as well. i wish i had someone to bounce all of this off of. but i don't...and i am frustrated in my struggle to find what works for me. was my initial weightloss just water and normal for a 2 week first time out? i really was hoping to lose more weight. i am realizing after all my research of other bloggers who keep tabs and record like i am, that we each have to find our own groove. i have also learned quite surprisingly that many vegans AND raw foodists actually gain weight over time.
it is looking as if, dr joel f is right. the most simplified, unrefined foods are the ones to keep weight down and lose. is my scale off? or did i gain? did those few little bites here and there really overcompensate for the noshing on fruits and veggies all day? i mean c'mon!!! one avo only has appx 300 cals, and i have been only having half, and that was maybe just 3 days this week...IF that!
larabars worked great when i was on the road and needed something, as well as my almonds. and here's another downside...this way of eating can not only get boring but it disturbs me on a deep level that i have to make 2 dinners, one for the family and one for me.
can i survive on this way for the rest of my life? or the next 3 weeks? i feel as though i should keep going and add a 7th week, due to this set back. i was sure i would be in the upper 120 range by now. but no. i gained and am back to where i started. crazy and really makes me sick.
i am so stuck. i am stuck in the 130's and i hate it. my stomach fat is aweful and i have so much fat on my butt and thighs. i can see a small difference in my upper arms and my ankles...and i can almost get my skinny pants to button...but it is too tight and too uncomfortable.
i want something drastic. i want to just get this fat off once and for all. i am NOT at peace with it anymore. and deeply disturbed that i am gaining weight.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
DAY 17 -
scale is off, so not sure how much i weigh today. last time i was around 131.
so this morning i walked with the girls and murph, but i felt a bit winded and weak .... i sweated alot though, so that made me happy.
FOOD LOG:
jp smoothie with froz. 1/2 banana, flaxseed, jp fruits, echinacea, water
smoothie with frozen blueberries, 1/2 banana, real coconut carved from inside of shell, froz strawbs organic and water.
32 oz water
made lentil/portabella soup had a big bowl
still hungry
tofu burger on toasted ezekial bread with mango dressing
6 bites of austins brownies
large cup of b/g's with agave and almond milk
so, i was sipping on water and it was time to get going to austins track meet. so i throw the kids in the car and roll into juice stop where i get austin a banana and a carrot apple juice...while i am there i decide to get me and the kids one too. i got one with beets...
so off we go to the meet. i am fine and not hungry until we head for the car at around 4:45. suddenly i am starving. i am STARVING. head ache hungry big time. i am sipping on my water and trying to be ok.
i make it home to start my soup and i munch on some veggies in the meantime...but i am getting so stinking hungry!!! so now i have polished off one big bowl of my mushroom lentil soup and i am still starving! what gives?
ok, last night i had a few sips of chianti and some 'white' artisan bread...a few bites of pasta too...i have noticed in the past that on nights i consume alot of 'white' food and/or alcohol, the next day i am famished. there has to be something to this.
sugar thing? i am willing to bet. ugh. all i had was a small little bit of that and that. and today it sucks to be me. i am freeeeking hungry.
so this morning i walked with the girls and murph, but i felt a bit winded and weak .... i sweated alot though, so that made me happy.
FOOD LOG:
jp smoothie with froz. 1/2 banana, flaxseed, jp fruits, echinacea, water
smoothie with frozen blueberries, 1/2 banana, real coconut carved from inside of shell, froz strawbs organic and water.
32 oz water
made lentil/portabella soup had a big bowl
still hungry
tofu burger on toasted ezekial bread with mango dressing
6 bites of austins brownies
large cup of b/g's with agave and almond milk
so, i was sipping on water and it was time to get going to austins track meet. so i throw the kids in the car and roll into juice stop where i get austin a banana and a carrot apple juice...while i am there i decide to get me and the kids one too. i got one with beets...
so off we go to the meet. i am fine and not hungry until we head for the car at around 4:45. suddenly i am starving. i am STARVING. head ache hungry big time. i am sipping on my water and trying to be ok.
i make it home to start my soup and i munch on some veggies in the meantime...but i am getting so stinking hungry!!! so now i have polished off one big bowl of my mushroom lentil soup and i am still starving! what gives?
ok, last night i had a few sips of chianti and some 'white' artisan bread...a few bites of pasta too...i have noticed in the past that on nights i consume alot of 'white' food and/or alcohol, the next day i am famished. there has to be something to this.
sugar thing? i am willing to bet. ugh. all i had was a small little bit of that and that. and today it sucks to be me. i am freeeeking hungry.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
DAY 16 - tuesday - week 3
ok. i am obsessed. i joined 'give it to me raw' yesterday and i am so excited. i have found a 'new' thing for me...and it is wonderful. i am getting healthy and being inspired by others. a little community of goodness..right here on my couch, as i sit and sip my green juice....yes, i said green juice! i have found (made up) my own recipe for a green juice that i love and is out of this world.
today i juiced a whole pineapple and some raw coconut too..oh it was divine. hannah helped in the kitchen and we drank the golden goodness down. david was home for lunch and feeling a bit 'tired' and run down...so you know that i just had to whip some up for him too. GOD FORBID i allow any more sickness to invade my family or my home. i will not go down without a fight!
ok...so for my green juice.
1 -3 stalks of kale
2 -3 bunches of romaine
3/4 or so of cucumber (so good for our skin)
1 apple
1 pear
and yum! i am so happy! i feel like a real bonifide 'raw'foodie' now. i have a green juice i can sip and sip and not want to barf.
:::update::::
about one hour after the green juice, i notice my nose is running...(?) odd. i haven't had any dairy...so i wonder if that would be a detox sign or not.
also, my scale is off because one of the kids readjusted the dial and this morning i almost pee'd my pj's when it said i lost over 6 lbs...(just from yesterday). i had to make sure it was not 'off' and sure enough it was. sooooo...hmmm....bah!
i am not sure how much i have lost to this point...i have a feeling not much since the weekend i was off a bit (camping food). this week was suppose to be my week for 'hitting it hard' but tonight we are taking the boys to mac grill!!! (can you say B-B-B-BREAD!!!) oy vay. i hope i can resist. (we are celebrating austin's being invited to the london talent show and owen made gate) i am trying to do only fruits and veggies this week. fruit all day til noon, smoothies and green juice...and than soup or salad for dinner. i am not doing beans or lara bars or nuts this week....i just want to see if it makes a big difference for me.
ok....so far today my food journal is like this:
smoothie jp (with echinacea and fruit capsules) flaxseed, froz. banana,water
pineapple coconut juice
sweet green juice
water
broccoli cabbage with mango salsa and mango chile dressing
veggies with mango dip (fresh and easy)
challenge: dinner out at mac grill...
i ordered the scallop salad but had about 9 bites of the bread dipped in o.o., some sips of chianti, a few bites of pasta with alfredo sauce...one shrimp, and about tblspoon or so of chocolate ganache.
i did 'ok' tonight considering the temptation. i didn't go crazy i just took nibbles and enjoyed myself. ironically today carol alts email was about 'cheating'.
INSPIRED TODAY TO:
learn to make my own 'raw chocolate'. i found some cool blogs and websites and i am on to learning and mastering this new skill ;)
Raw Chocolate recipes
today i juiced a whole pineapple and some raw coconut too..oh it was divine. hannah helped in the kitchen and we drank the golden goodness down. david was home for lunch and feeling a bit 'tired' and run down...so you know that i just had to whip some up for him too. GOD FORBID i allow any more sickness to invade my family or my home. i will not go down without a fight!
ok...so for my green juice.
1 -3 stalks of kale
2 -3 bunches of romaine
3/4 or so of cucumber (so good for our skin)
1 apple
1 pear
and yum! i am so happy! i feel like a real bonifide 'raw'foodie' now. i have a green juice i can sip and sip and not want to barf.
:::update::::
about one hour after the green juice, i notice my nose is running...(?) odd. i haven't had any dairy...so i wonder if that would be a detox sign or not.
also, my scale is off because one of the kids readjusted the dial and this morning i almost pee'd my pj's when it said i lost over 6 lbs...(just from yesterday). i had to make sure it was not 'off' and sure enough it was. sooooo...hmmm....bah!
i am not sure how much i have lost to this point...i have a feeling not much since the weekend i was off a bit (camping food). this week was suppose to be my week for 'hitting it hard' but tonight we are taking the boys to mac grill!!! (can you say B-B-B-BREAD!!!) oy vay. i hope i can resist. (we are celebrating austin's being invited to the london talent show and owen made gate) i am trying to do only fruits and veggies this week. fruit all day til noon, smoothies and green juice...and than soup or salad for dinner. i am not doing beans or lara bars or nuts this week....i just want to see if it makes a big difference for me.
ok....so far today my food journal is like this:
smoothie jp (with echinacea and fruit capsules) flaxseed, froz. banana,water
pineapple coconut juice
sweet green juice
water
broccoli cabbage with mango salsa and mango chile dressing
veggies with mango dip (fresh and easy)
challenge: dinner out at mac grill...
i ordered the scallop salad but had about 9 bites of the bread dipped in o.o., some sips of chianti, a few bites of pasta with alfredo sauce...one shrimp, and about tblspoon or so of chocolate ganache.
i did 'ok' tonight considering the temptation. i didn't go crazy i just took nibbles and enjoyed myself. ironically today carol alts email was about 'cheating'.
But here's the key to making this work, Shelbi: You have to write down what your cheats are and how often you can eat them. Otherwise, you'll be making exceptions left and right. Your mind will finds all kinds of ways to bend the rules ("I'm on vacation, so I get extra cheats," "I forgot last week's cheat so I get two cheats this week," "I said chocolate chip cookies would be my cheat but chocolate cake has almost all the same ingredients as chocolate chip cookies and boy does that cake look delicious," etc).
So be clear when you're writing out your "cheat sheet" to specify exactly which foods, exactly how many times a week. That way, when your mind churns out reasons to cheat more than you originally intended, you'll be onto it - and you'll be less likely to fall off the wagon.
Carry your cheat sheet with you so you can refer to it whenever you want. It will remind you of your true intention when you're feeling tempted.
The truth is, once you know that it's okay to cheat every now and then, it makes sticking to your guns much easier. It's total deprivation that usually does people in. And most folks find that they only actually want to eat their favorite cooked foods about once or twice a week. That's totally doable.
So here's your assignment, Shelbi: Write down your cheats and how often you can have them. (And don't go overboard here - once a week is probably plenty.) Tomorrow, I'll teach you which meal should be your biggest and which should be your smallest, with the next step: Stress the right meals!
INSPIRED TODAY TO:
learn to make my own 'raw chocolate'. i found some cool blogs and websites and i am on to learning and mastering this new skill ;)
Raw Chocolate recipes
Monday, April 7, 2008
DAY 15 - MONDAY - week 3 - day one
day 15:
131 weight. wow. ok, so i have lost about 9 lbs in 15 day on this thing. not too shabby. i feel good in my clothes :) i feel 'lighter' and 'healthier'.
i am loving eating this way, but am still a bit unsure what to feed my family at dinner time. i am slowly cleaning out the pantry and buying ww flours, spelt, and organic spices etc. i am going to try 1 or 2 new recipes each week to keep things fresh :)
this week i would like to lose about 4 to 5 lbs more....i am hitting it hard this week. i am also feeling well enough to start exercising more :)
i feel clear headed and productive ;)
ok re-cap....
we spent this weekend camping :) food wise, we took lots of fruits and veggies, hummus and smoothie (naked juice) pita bread, organic instant oatmeal, fruit and nut bars and we did smores.
i don't remember each meal looking back now, but friday night we went for sushi and i asked the chef to create for me a catarpillar roll without rice. he gave me one with thinly cut cucumbers as the binding :) interesting and healthy. i also had miso, and cabbage salad with edamame, water to drink.
saturday: drive to lake cachuma:
breakfast: fruit, lara bar, some almonds, water.
the rest of the day i ate good, fruits and vegg's raw with hummus and pita. avo too. we stopped in solvang and i had earl grey and a delish almond cookie with chocolate buttercream. oh my.
later that night i had 2 smores, with dark chocolate.
that night i awoke with the 'throw up' panic attack, but i breathed deeply til it passed.
sunday:
organic oatmeal with pears
smoothie
coconut (fresh) from the farm stand :)
mixed veggie sandwich, (which was dissapointing) on ww.
half pita with avo guacomole...(about 1/4 cup)
today:
jp smoothie with half banana (organic) flaxseed meal - agave nectar-jp fruits.
half apple
snack: jp smoothie with coconut flavoring, ice, flax,
pear
veggies dipped in guac
(ok, the smell of the organic tortilla chips got me, i had about 5 of them)
131 weight. wow. ok, so i have lost about 9 lbs in 15 day on this thing. not too shabby. i feel good in my clothes :) i feel 'lighter' and 'healthier'.
i am loving eating this way, but am still a bit unsure what to feed my family at dinner time. i am slowly cleaning out the pantry and buying ww flours, spelt, and organic spices etc. i am going to try 1 or 2 new recipes each week to keep things fresh :)
this week i would like to lose about 4 to 5 lbs more....i am hitting it hard this week. i am also feeling well enough to start exercising more :)
i feel clear headed and productive ;)
ok re-cap....
we spent this weekend camping :) food wise, we took lots of fruits and veggies, hummus and smoothie (naked juice) pita bread, organic instant oatmeal, fruit and nut bars and we did smores.
i don't remember each meal looking back now, but friday night we went for sushi and i asked the chef to create for me a catarpillar roll without rice. he gave me one with thinly cut cucumbers as the binding :) interesting and healthy. i also had miso, and cabbage salad with edamame, water to drink.
saturday: drive to lake cachuma:
breakfast: fruit, lara bar, some almonds, water.
the rest of the day i ate good, fruits and vegg's raw with hummus and pita. avo too. we stopped in solvang and i had earl grey and a delish almond cookie with chocolate buttercream. oh my.
later that night i had 2 smores, with dark chocolate.
that night i awoke with the 'throw up' panic attack, but i breathed deeply til it passed.
sunday:
organic oatmeal with pears
smoothie
coconut (fresh) from the farm stand :)
mixed veggie sandwich, (which was dissapointing) on ww.
half pita with avo guacomole...(about 1/4 cup)
today:
jp smoothie with half banana (organic) flaxseed meal - agave nectar-jp fruits.
half apple
snack: jp smoothie with coconut flavoring, ice, flax,
pear
veggies dipped in guac
(ok, the smell of the organic tortilla chips got me, i had about 5 of them)
Thursday, April 3, 2008
THURSDAY day 3 of week 2: DAY 11
FINALLY :) i am feeling better today :) a little 'tired' but not the 'fatigue' that has been following me about. i feel as though i can do some laundry/chores today without that cloudy headed feeling.
i am now happily full after eating about 2 apples, or a nice salad. i no longer feel 'deprived' of anything because i have lost my 'cravings'. i do not have my 2 cups of coffee in the morning, or a 3:30 caffiene pick me up. my mouth loves the 'taste' of fresh, unrefined foods. i enjoy scouring my cookbooks for new 'vegetarian recipes' and reading about how the body works. i also do not have any more nausea when i wake up in the middle of the night :) yay. my stomach feels 'clean'.
yesterdays meals included the green lemonade from NR's book, which i am clearly not ready for...it was much too bitter for me and i could not see myself drinking that all morning. ugh. i got half of it down and had had enough. however, i took her test and i am a level 3 :) which makes me happy. would love to get to a level 2, but to be honest, i am not all that interested in juicing daily right now in my life. it is just a matter of energy, time and expense.
i would rather stay on dr F's plan which is doable. :) i enjoy eating my foods and i will save the juicing for weekend ventures for now. on happier note, i am beginning to feel that 6-7 pound loss :) last night i wore 'the nurse' for D and it fit much better and i thought my legs look slimmer too :) i was feeling much happire in this new body and it is only going to get better.
FOOD:
breakfast; herbal tea red ruby chai, trador joes, with agave
*2 apples
a little bit of an orange
water
lunch:
tofu burger on flax toast topped with half avo
herbal detox tea
water
snack:
lara bar
dinner:
*the tea kicked in pretty early this morning...but after eating the apples (about 15 minutes) my stomach began to hurt pretty bad. i ended up with pretty intense stomach cramping in the bathroom 'going' for a bit. i think i might have eaten an unwashed apple. i don't know. all i know is in the past, the tea has not reacted that way for me.
around 3 ish i became very 'weak'. i think i may have gone too long between breakfast and lunch...i don't know. today has also brougth some food struggles. i really did want to 'eat' today. boredom? emotion? fatigue? hmmm. when i feel 'weak' like this i wonder if i normally in the past have turned to food to comfort me. i bet i have. i know i have.
TO DO:
start taking iron daily (liquid - flora)
vitamin b-12
juice plus
i am now happily full after eating about 2 apples, or a nice salad. i no longer feel 'deprived' of anything because i have lost my 'cravings'. i do not have my 2 cups of coffee in the morning, or a 3:30 caffiene pick me up. my mouth loves the 'taste' of fresh, unrefined foods. i enjoy scouring my cookbooks for new 'vegetarian recipes' and reading about how the body works. i also do not have any more nausea when i wake up in the middle of the night :) yay. my stomach feels 'clean'.
yesterdays meals included the green lemonade from NR's book, which i am clearly not ready for...it was much too bitter for me and i could not see myself drinking that all morning. ugh. i got half of it down and had had enough. however, i took her test and i am a level 3 :) which makes me happy. would love to get to a level 2, but to be honest, i am not all that interested in juicing daily right now in my life. it is just a matter of energy, time and expense.
i would rather stay on dr F's plan which is doable. :) i enjoy eating my foods and i will save the juicing for weekend ventures for now. on happier note, i am beginning to feel that 6-7 pound loss :) last night i wore 'the nurse' for D and it fit much better and i thought my legs look slimmer too :) i was feeling much happire in this new body and it is only going to get better.
FOOD:
breakfast; herbal tea red ruby chai, trador joes, with agave
*2 apples
a little bit of an orange
water
lunch:
tofu burger on flax toast topped with half avo
herbal detox tea
water
snack:
lara bar
dinner:
*the tea kicked in pretty early this morning...but after eating the apples (about 15 minutes) my stomach began to hurt pretty bad. i ended up with pretty intense stomach cramping in the bathroom 'going' for a bit. i think i might have eaten an unwashed apple. i don't know. all i know is in the past, the tea has not reacted that way for me.
around 3 ish i became very 'weak'. i think i may have gone too long between breakfast and lunch...i don't know. today has also brougth some food struggles. i really did want to 'eat' today. boredom? emotion? fatigue? hmmm. when i feel 'weak' like this i wonder if i normally in the past have turned to food to comfort me. i bet i have. i know i have.
TO DO:
start taking iron daily (liquid - flora)
vitamin b-12
juice plus
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
WEDNESDAY week 2 :day 3 DAY 10
still struggling along with severe fatigue and last night i was able to get natalia rose's book 'the raw food detox diet'. it has different levels for individuals in order for them to gage where to begin.
i just read something in her book notes in the back about the raw foods and their powerful enzymes. my fatigue may be an indication that my body is still adjusting and that i am going too fast.
possible causes of my fatigue/irritability/depression:
LOW IRON Detoxing too quickly. last week was my period (atop of having the flu with extreme diet change) and perhaps my iron is too low.
i am going to take flora's iron and also up my intake of vit C and iron rich plant base foods.
FOOD:
breakfast:
herbal tea and whole grain flax toast with almond butter
mid morning:
green lemonade juice
lunch:
smoothie (2) jp
dinner: (about 7:15)
roasted veggies with olive oil wrapped in romaine :)
night cap:
greens and blacks with almond milk and agave (with david)
============================================================
i had about 3 wraps and i felt 'full'. i was sustained until about 9:30 when i felt peckish and decided to have a glass of water and the hot cocoa
i also drank some smooth move tea before bed due to not 'going' today.
i just read something in her book notes in the back about the raw foods and their powerful enzymes. my fatigue may be an indication that my body is still adjusting and that i am going too fast.
possible causes of my fatigue/irritability/depression:
LOW IRON Detoxing too quickly. last week was my period (atop of having the flu with extreme diet change) and perhaps my iron is too low.
| Type of Person | Amounts Required (mg/day) |
| infants from 0-3 months | 1.7 |
| rising at 12 months | 7.8 |
| children | 6.1-8.7 |
| teenagers | 11.3-14.8 |
| men | 8.7 |
| women | 14.8 |
i am going to take flora's iron and also up my intake of vit C and iron rich plant base foods.
| Type of food | Quantity (g) |
| Pistachios | 14 |
| Cashews (roasted) | 32 |
| Whole lentils | 57 |
| Chick peas (boiled) | 95 |
| Wholemeal bread | 74 |
| Sesame seeds or tahini | 19 |
| Black molasses | 22 |
| Apricots (dried) | 59 |
| Spinach (boiled) | 125 |
FOOD:
breakfast:
herbal tea and whole grain flax toast with almond butter
mid morning:
green lemonade juice
lunch:
smoothie (2) jp
dinner: (about 7:15)
roasted veggies with olive oil wrapped in romaine :)
night cap:
greens and blacks with almond milk and agave (with david)
============================================================
i had about 3 wraps and i felt 'full'. i was sustained until about 9:30 when i felt peckish and decided to have a glass of water and the hot cocoa
i also drank some smooth move tea before bed due to not 'going' today.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
tuesday: WEEK 2: day 2
not so good today. had a little emotional breakdown and hit a wall with my morning patience. i lost it so bad with h today. the boys were home to witness it which really upset me all the more because i had high hopes of spending a lovely day together. i was thankful to have 'a' here though b/c he took over the morning shift, took in the daycare kids (2 today) and allowed me to rest. i must admit, i was emotionally pretty gone.
my head hurts, i feel irritible and depressed. very overwhelmed by my life and lacking a ton of energy. i am so very frustrated. why am i not feeling better? i feel exhausted, tired and lethargic. i also feel depressed and emotional. and it is not hormones, because i finished my period last week.
i am really becoming concerned that i have underlying issues. i also do not really know the extent of weight i am losing because my scale is off and 'sticks'. i just know that i am in week 2 of this thing and have really committed to it, and it stinks that i am struggling along all this time....
i know that last week i had to take some cold meds and that i may still have a little of this flu in me, but i am still battling head aches and feeling cloudy headed.
MORNING struggles:
my goal is to wake by 6 am and feel energized. i cannot remember the last time i was able to wake up that early and feel good. this morning was a real indicator to me that i need to be ontop of my mornings. i do not have the daycare kids til 9:30 and that challenges me to get up, get us all dressed and take our morning walk, which i love so much. also, i will avoid repeating another horrid morning like today. 'e' was in her crib, screaming her lungs out...which is something new lately for her. 'h' has also been extremely challenging and emotionally i have not been able to deal with it day in and day out as well as i would like.
today i feel as though i have nothing left to give this family. i dread the daily grind of fending for each person in this house. making sure they all have clean socks and underwear (laundry is piled high) and preparing my own food plus theirs is very overwhelming for me as well. i have my own kids and other people kids all day. i do not get enough breaks to make my life as fullfilled as i had hoped at this age for myself.
my creative energy is zapped and i am actually dreading the jewelry class that i am to teach at the end of next month. i am just plain tired. or am i? do i have something else going on ? or is this cleanse just taking more out of me than the average person?
ugh.
EXERCISE: 25 MINUTES ON ELIPTICAL :)
FOOD DIARY:
am til afternoon: jp smoothie/water/herbal tea.
dinner: veggie burger in pita with hummus smear and red bell peppers (which emma LOVES btw now :)) and red onions.
snack evening: sweet spice herbal tea and larabar
UPDATE:
since feeling sluggish still and being on day 8 i have considered some reasons. i am not getting enough sleep and i am not exercising enough. i am going to also incorporate 'natalia rose's' green lemonade in the morning/afternoon, and use juicing as a measure to see if my energy goes up.
the more i read about raw food and it's effects and benifits for the body the more i am inclined to start using my own things here and there and not totally rely on ETL for completing my 6 weeks.
my head hurts, i feel irritible and depressed. very overwhelmed by my life and lacking a ton of energy. i am so very frustrated. why am i not feeling better? i feel exhausted, tired and lethargic. i also feel depressed and emotional. and it is not hormones, because i finished my period last week.
i am really becoming concerned that i have underlying issues. i also do not really know the extent of weight i am losing because my scale is off and 'sticks'. i just know that i am in week 2 of this thing and have really committed to it, and it stinks that i am struggling along all this time....
i know that last week i had to take some cold meds and that i may still have a little of this flu in me, but i am still battling head aches and feeling cloudy headed.
MORNING struggles:
my goal is to wake by 6 am and feel energized. i cannot remember the last time i was able to wake up that early and feel good. this morning was a real indicator to me that i need to be ontop of my mornings. i do not have the daycare kids til 9:30 and that challenges me to get up, get us all dressed and take our morning walk, which i love so much. also, i will avoid repeating another horrid morning like today. 'e' was in her crib, screaming her lungs out...which is something new lately for her. 'h' has also been extremely challenging and emotionally i have not been able to deal with it day in and day out as well as i would like.
today i feel as though i have nothing left to give this family. i dread the daily grind of fending for each person in this house. making sure they all have clean socks and underwear (laundry is piled high) and preparing my own food plus theirs is very overwhelming for me as well. i have my own kids and other people kids all day. i do not get enough breaks to make my life as fullfilled as i had hoped at this age for myself.
my creative energy is zapped and i am actually dreading the jewelry class that i am to teach at the end of next month. i am just plain tired. or am i? do i have something else going on ? or is this cleanse just taking more out of me than the average person?
ugh.
EXERCISE: 25 MINUTES ON ELIPTICAL :)
FOOD DIARY:
am til afternoon: jp smoothie/water/herbal tea.
dinner: veggie burger in pita with hummus smear and red bell peppers (which emma LOVES btw now :)) and red onions.
snack evening: sweet spice herbal tea and larabar
UPDATE:
since feeling sluggish still and being on day 8 i have considered some reasons. i am not getting enough sleep and i am not exercising enough. i am going to also incorporate 'natalia rose's' green lemonade in the morning/afternoon, and use juicing as a measure to see if my energy goes up.
the more i read about raw food and it's effects and benifits for the body the more i am inclined to start using my own things here and there and not totally rely on ETL for completing my 6 weeks.
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