DAY 31

today:
water
smoothie: jp, fruits, 1 T ground flax , 8 oz of almond milk (unsweetened), froz. organic strawberries, half banana, 1pkt stevia
2 apples with T of honey
T raisins
watermelon 1/2 small
sprouted tortilla with black beans and half an avo
bowl of butternut squash soup with about 4th of avo stirred in
half glass of G&B smoothie with nut butter and dates, stevia



some of my recent emotional connections and realizations have come at 5 and a half weeks raw.

i summarized: (kids are napping and time is short)

whole foods (good for you foods) are nourishing me. i am in a healthy place now. i no longer need 'my old comfort foods' to give me that temporary fleeting comfort/happiness.

whole foods are 'life giving' to me. they fill me up. they nourish me. being mommy made me forget about my needs, and i came last. so i would fill up on the left over's, or the crusts. but now, i realize that taking the time i need to nourish my body with a chopped veggie salad, or a wholesome soup is 'filling me up'. so 'good foods' have become my friends.

physiologically:
tea room experience: my body craved wholesome foods after that meal of white bread, tea with sugar and scones. i barely ate 2 bites of the cream cheese laden cucumber white bread sandwich before i felt nauseated and my head began killing me. the ride home was torture until i pulled into ecco (my health food store :)) and was able to give my body the veggie rolls with brown rice....as soon as i got good healthy food into my system, the low blood sugar, shakes and head ache, sluggishness went away within minutes.

social eating;
mainstream eating was also a way for me to feel 'loved and accepted'. if i ate what was placed on my plate as a young girl, it made me feel loved, accepted, and 'good'. if i did not finish all of my food, it was a 'bad' thing. by the time i began my eating disorder (starving myself) in high school, i was told to 'eat' 'stand on the scale' eat'..

everything about food for me has had strong negative or positive emotions. going raw has helped me to find my truth....myself. my voice. this is what is right for me. this is SAFE and this is what i need to feel filled up and whole. i no longer care what others will 'think' of me. i am letting go of their expectations of me. i cannot apologize that my being healthy and eating 75% raw makes them feel inferior. i no longer downplay who i am in order to make others feel better. it's their deal to sort thru. i release other's opinions of me.








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you know that you have reached the other side when you can sit side by side with the others, and they eat their thing, you eat your thing, and you are at peace within yourself. it will be then and there that you have found your own truth.

my prescription for rene;

above all else; commit to 6 weeks.
believe in your self to be safe. and for the duration of the 6 weeks, saturate yourself as much as possible with books, websites, blogs, authors, people, who are do not allow fears to detour you.
be selfish and self centered when you need to be.
learn to say, 'touch my nut butter and i will kick your ass'.
commit to 6 weeks.
tell yourself this is not a 'temporary change'