tuesday: WEEK 2: day 2

not so good today. had a little emotional breakdown and hit a wall with my morning patience. i lost it so bad with h today. the boys were home to witness it which really upset me all the more because i had high hopes of spending a lovely day together. i was thankful to have 'a' here though b/c he took over the morning shift, took in the daycare kids (2 today) and allowed me to rest. i must admit, i was emotionally pretty gone.

my head hurts, i feel irritible and depressed. very overwhelmed by my life and lacking a ton of energy. i am so very frustrated. why am i not feeling better? i feel exhausted, tired and lethargic. i also feel depressed and emotional. and it is not hormones, because i finished my period last week.

i am really becoming concerned that i have underlying issues. i also do not really know the extent of weight i am losing because my scale is off and 'sticks'. i just know that i am in week 2 of this thing and have really committed to it, and it stinks that i am struggling along all this time....

i know that last week i had to take some cold meds and that i may still have a little of this flu in me, but i am still battling head aches and feeling cloudy headed.

MORNING struggles:

my goal is to wake by 6 am and feel energized. i cannot remember the last time i was able to wake up that early and feel good. this morning was a real indicator to me that i need to be ontop of my mornings. i do not have the daycare kids til 9:30 and that challenges me to get up, get us all dressed and take our morning walk, which i love so much. also, i will avoid repeating another horrid morning like today. 'e' was in her crib, screaming her lungs out...which is something new lately for her. 'h' has also been extremely challenging and emotionally i have not been able to deal with it day in and day out as well as i would like.

today i feel as though i have nothing left to give this family. i dread the daily grind of fending for each person in this house. making sure they all have clean socks and underwear (laundry is piled high) and preparing my own food plus theirs is very overwhelming for me as well. i have my own kids and other people kids all day. i do not get enough breaks to make my life as fullfilled as i had hoped at this age for myself.

my creative energy is zapped and i am actually dreading the jewelry class that i am to teach at the end of next month. i am just plain tired. or am i? do i have something else going on ? or is this cleanse just taking more out of me than the average person?

ugh.

EXERCISE: 25 MINUTES ON ELIPTICAL :)

FOOD DIARY:

am til afternoon: jp smoothie/water/herbal tea.
dinner: veggie burger in pita with hummus smear and red bell peppers (which emma LOVES btw now :)) and red onions.

snack evening: sweet spice herbal tea and larabar

UPDATE:

since feeling sluggish still and being on day 8 i have considered some reasons. i am not getting enough sleep and i am not exercising enough. i am going to also incorporate 'natalia rose's' green lemonade in the morning/afternoon, and use juicing as a measure to see if my energy goes up.

the more i read about raw food and it's effects and benifits for the body the more i am inclined to start using my own things here and there and not totally rely on ETL for completing my 6 weeks.